Living

A few nights ago after watching the last half of the Descendants with the couple I live with, I offered to return the video for them. As I was pulling into blockbuster I was reminded of how I use to return movies to video rental places with a close ex-girlfriend. We use to do things like this all the time. It was not anything extraordinary, it was just normal everyday life, like running an errand, or seeing a movie or going out to eat at some place we wanted to visit. Life was about living freely and enjoying the things we were passionate about. We were open about our thoughts and feelings and I remember how happy I was back then.

It was a jarring thought as I have gotten so use to living for my paycheck or doing whatever I need to do just to get by that I let go of things I care about. I have lost bits & pieces of who I am and what makes me happy. Living with the Pearson’s I have recaptured a bit of that and I realize as I move forward in life I want to recapture that happiness in how I live my life and with my relationships.

Five years

Five years ago I was corresponding with a friend named Krista. We met online and became friends even though we live in different states. We have not had consistent contact over the years but we keep in touch.

At the time I had dropped out Denver Seminary's Master's in counseling program. Krista was interested in counseling and thinking about pursuing counseling. I was thinking about getting a degree in counseling and then get a job doing anything else. I was not very serious about working in the counseling field.

The other day I logged into Facebook and saw a notification that Krista has a job working for a license counselor and has completed enough training that she is becoming a counselor or finishing up her certification as a counselor (Forgive me I am not good with details).

Five years ago I would not have imagined how life would have turned out. Krista would become a counselor and I am still working in the same field, same type of work and figuring out what to do with my urge to help people.

Movie: Tucker & Dale Vs Evail

Yes yes, I watched it. It was interesting. The comedy was good and the story was very original. If you like gory, B comedy movies check it out.

Also watched the last half of the Descendants again. Amazing movie which should have won best picture! If you love George Clooney, good acting, and original stories then watch the Descendants.

A night with mom

My mom lives in assisted living home about 10 to 12 miles away from me. She is not in great shape and it is odd to know she is in an assisted living home at the young age of 67.

Some nights when I go to visit her she falls asleep on me and other nights she only stays awake for so long before she is tired and wants to be alone. Some nights when I come by she is asleep while the TV is blaring in her room.

Tonight when I visited her she was awake and we talked for a while and watched CIS, which is one of her favorite shows. It was a good visit and one I will remember. It doesn't matter where I visit my mom or what condition she is in as long as we can talk and have a good time. Those are the memories that mean the most.

Carrying a cross up a hill

A group from my church is on a mission to go through an obstacle course carrying a giant 130 pound cross. We will collect donations from supporters and then make sure all our donations go back to ministries our church is involved in and we support.

When I have told other people about this some of them laugh and some of them think it is ridiculous and absurd. A friend of mine who spends a lot of time playing video games told me I could hurt myself and I should be careful. He told me we may not raise much and we maybe over hyping this thing we want to do. I know he means well by the advice he gave but at the end of the day sitting on sofa or infront of PC playing video games in my free time does not cut it for me. I want more than that! I want more then the simple comforts our society gives us. I want my life & my time & my memories to be filled with more then just video games or coffee or movies or anything else I could fill me life & my time with.

I want remember being a part of something that was big and beyond what I could do or what a couple people could come up with. I want to be so sold out to something I am willing to do something that sounds absurd or ridiculous, especially if it helps people.

This made me laugh

While sitting at my desk at work I was frustrated with a computer program. In a faint voice I saide "Why God? Why?".

A coworker passing by responded with "Because he hates you!".

I couldn't stop laughing for five minutes.

Sometimes it is the mean sardonic people who make you smile.

True

I'm 37 and still have the urge to harass people I do not know in department stores.

Sad,

I'm still a trouble maker with a weird but edgy sense of humor after all these years,

True

Celebrating the Birthday

Growing up I use to not want much attention or did not want to do anything for my birthday. Also I had many friends or groups I belonged to that would organize a party or something fun to help me celebrate my birthday. I also use to be very low key and dislike the attention of spending time with people for a celebration.

Maybe I was a quite person or very shy but those years have come to a close. I realized a few years back I have to start organizing my own celebrations. Each year is different, one year it was playing Texas Hold'em with friends, another year was spent at a jazz club, and another year was a day out for movies. This year was dinner with friends at a restaurant one night and then on a separate night having drinks and cigars with the guys.

I have not done something every year but it is fun to do something to commemorate the occasion. This may be the last year I invite people out to do something as it maybe more fun to have my own adventure in the following years. Go sky-diving, nice vacation somewhere, run a race or something like that.

Until I figure out what to do next year my birthday mantra will always be the same "Ho ray, I'm old".