I have never thought of myself as an anxious person or having a restless desire to do something. A few weeks ago while driving to the light rail station I was near the station but had been delayed and was trying to get the station in time to catch my train so I could make it to work on time. I was at a light, in a left hand turn lane turning on to a road leading to the light rail station. I was behind a large vehicle which had time to turn but was waiting for an oncoming car to slow down. The light changed and we were given the green arrow so we could turn but the vehicle in front of me sat at the light. It was still focusing on the oncoming car which was braking and had slowed. The car was in the process of stopping at the light and the vehicle in front of me still sat there so I honked my horn gestured at the light. The vehicle in front of me began to drive through the traffic light, very slowly as the green arrow was now turning yellow. Caught up in a rush to get to the light rail station and concerned about missing the green arrow and my opportunity to drive through the intersection, I followed the vehicle through the intersection at the tail end of the light.
About a quarter mile down the road I ended up in a turn lane next to the large slow vehicle I had been driving behind. She had rolled down her window and I usually don’t say anything but this woman was driving so slow and almost missed a green arrow when she should not have and held up traffic I felt the need to say something.
I pulled up and said something to effect of I normally don’t honk and I don’t mean to rush you but you clearly had a green arrow and were missing it. She commented she was waiting for the car in front of her to slow, which it had and was almost stopped at the intersection. I didn’t want to argue but still felt my point had not gotten across that she was driving way to slow and holding up traffic. I said something to the effect of the car was clearly stopping and she clearly had the right of way. She responded by saying she hoped my day improved and I would not be so anxious before driving away.
At first that comment caught me as something said by someone who did not get the point and still did not understand that she was driving so slow she held up traffic and almost missed a green light for her. I immediately had all sorts of snappy come backs in my head like I hope you realize you are sloppy slow driver and I hope you don’t have to drive much today! I hope get a chauffeur to drive you around! I hope you realize I can tell you failed your driving test by how you drive!
That comment struck me and it hung with me for a few weeks. As I think about it at the moment I was so caught up in trying to get where I was going that I did not give any thought to my emotional state. I was in a rush and focused but I would not characterize it as anxiety. I am still not sure if I agree with her that I was anxious but the woman was on to something. I was caught up in state of rush that I was not thinking about my emotions. I seem to go through life where doing this, being caught up in something and not giving myself time to reflect on what I am doing.
