My own worst enemy

While driving home after work I couldn't help but count the number of times other drivers would cut other people off, run stop signs, and almost come close to hitting cars. I distinctly remember an acute spike in my blood pressure as one driver caused me to step on my brakes with quite a few cars behind me. As that reckless driver disappeared into dark snowy side streets I clenching my steering wheel thinking "Who has the nerve"?

I continued on my way driving more aggressively & taking more chances. I told myself all the other drivers where just slow & overly cautious in snowy weather. Less then two hours later I was leaving a restaurant parking lot, turning left onto a busy street. I made the brilliant choice to wait until traffic from both lanes was on top of me to turn and the blaring horn of one driver asked the same question I asked earlier...who has the nerve?

I knew it the second it happened. I didn't need to hear his horn or have it ring in my ears for a few minutes after ward but it did as a more welcome sound than crashing glass or an ambulance or someone crying. Both the driver who cut me off and I got lucky tonight. We didn't end up in accidents that easily could have been caused by the results of our actions.

The funny thing about hypocrisy is you don't see it until after the fact. How long would I have driven angry, recklessly & aggressively if it weren’t for the turn out of that restaurant & someone honking at me? I may have just driven around like that one night and never thought about it again. Who is to say what would happen the next time I was frustrated with drivers in snowy weather? What if I was in a hurry or upset again? We all justify our actions, and for what? To feel better?

As much as I was upset with the guy who cut me off I know that tonight...I'm no better than him and I'm just as upset with myself & my actions. As I drove home I couldn't look at myself in any reflective surface because the guy with the nerve to drive recklessly would be staring back at me. Despite avoiding my reflection as I drove home I slowed down and drove conservatively without taking any risks. It was my first step to getting away from or getting better than my own worst enemy.