What are you doing bro?

What are you doing bro? I love hearing a friend of mine ask me that question because I can tell he sincerly is interested in my life and what goes on. We have had a lot in common but this year things have taken a change.

We were both in Grad school and involved in our churches. I took this semester off grad school and have stopped being actively involved in the church I was involved in. It was weird to tell him because he is excited about the stage of life he is in and what is happening on this journey in life. I haven't been excited in a long time. I don't know if it was burn out, frustration, lack of food for my soul, or something else.

I didn't like who I was last semester in Grad School. I was insanely busy and didn't have any time to do anything. Maybe some of it was burnout. I wasn't able to do anything I need to emotionally recharge so maybe some of it was lack of rest. I am still working through all of it and re-evaluating what was going on last fall.

I knew one thing for certain, I couldn't go on doing what I was doing. Or I couldn't keep not doing what I was suppose to be doing. Somewhere in fall semester I realized I wasn't smoking what I was selling so to speak. I looked good, had great points, people loved me as long as I did what they wanted, but I could really have cared less about anything I was doing. It didn't take long for me to realize this and I know alot of people in helping professions, social workers, police officers, pastors, medical workers, counselors, etc., etc., come to point where they talk about this and end up in this I-don't-want-to-do-anything limbo. I can't speak for everyone else but for me, I discovered a part of my soul. I have always been in touch with my soul and aware I have one but there was something that really wasn't right about last fall. I'm trying to put all the pieces together and it may take some time.

I don't know where I was going with this thought but I wanted to reassure everyone I have been talking with or friends who read this blog & I haven't been talking with, that I'm okay. Dropping out of school & church is temporary. I promise not to spend the rest of my life playing poker late night & goofing off. Those activites too are strange to my soul and not part of the long term journey. Yeah, I'm just making a pit stop on the long journey of life.

Just a pit stop.