Memories

I will never forget walking into on of my last finals my first semester in college. It was the morning after a shooting took place where I worked. I was running late and the class stared at me as I entered the room. Some were shocked to know a classmate was almost killed the night before, and some were shocked to see me, but I think most were happy to know I was there. The professor asked a few questions about if I was working last night and if I knew any of the people who were killed and had any details on what happened.

She was very sweet and offered to let me retake my final at a later date. Sitting down to take a test the morning after one losses his co-workers, place of employment, and almost my own life is a surreal feeling. Don't misunderstand me, I was & still am grateful to be alive but any normal every day interaction from that point forward didn't seem real. I wanted to get on with life and I knew the world wasn't standing still for me but I couldn't get what happened the night before out of my mind.

I can not imagine what the students at VA Tech are going through. For some people this is the type of stuff that shakes you to your core & every thing in your universe. My experience is extremely tame to what many have gone through. A year ago I had dinner with a gal who was at Columbine the day the shootings took place. She was shot at but not hit or wounded. I had just met her and didn't know her well but judging by how she talked about it I could tell that seven years later she still hadn't dealt with all of what happened that day.

The thing that sticks with me is every day since then when I watch the news I am not just watching a story of someone being murdered, killed, or a victim of violent crime. I am watching someone's son, or daughter, or mother, or father, or lover, or friend and it isn't a nameless face they are talking about. They are talking about people. After having gone through an experience with violent crime it isn't just another senseless depressing news story I want to turn off because the news only reports depressing stories that get me down. Some how other people's humanity is hightened in my mind & heart as I hear these stories. Each one is a seperate tragedy with worlds more to the story then what fits into a two minute news spot.

I remember three days after the shooting at the place where I worked I was standing infront of the restuarant with some co-workers. We were starring at the shrine of flowers, cards, and trinkets people had dropped off infront of the restuarant doors. Some lady I had never met and didn't know came up from behind and hugged me. She held me tight even though I wasn't crying. I didn't ask her to and I have no idea why she choose me but I will never forget that lady because that hug meant more to me then anything in the months that followed.

After something like this people don't really want answers or someone to be held accountable & blamed. All any senseable human wants is to be comforted & reassured that everything is alright. I pray to God someone is hugging those college students at VA Tech, or bringing them meals, or talking with them, better yet listening to them & letting them talk. I pray they get to see their families and friends again, spend time with them, and tell them they love them. More importantly I pray their friends, family, fellow students, community, and maybe even complete strangers find a way to express love, comfort, and assurance to them.