Insane Loneliness

I know I'm not the most gifted communicator and at times I don't explain things well but I'm going to attempt to describe something I don't fully grasp nor do I think most people come close to understanding. The insane feeling of loneliness.

I think there various levels of loneliness and different types of loneliness. There is the all by one's self on a friday night type of loneliness which differs from the being single and not dating anyone type of loneliness. Both compare but differ from insane loneliness.

Insane loneliness is the type one feels when surrounded by a group of people. It is like a thick fog or depression. Sometimes comparable to the feeling/idea that one is different from everyone else on the planet and doesn't fit in with any group of people. There is nothing that seems to bring it on or make the sensation recede. That is my best attemp to define insane loneliness.

Every now and then it comes on and I have no way of making it go away or understanding it. Today I felt such a bout of it coming on while talking with a group of co-workers before leaving work. They were talking but proceded to start teasing me and make me laugh to the point the loneliness went away. I didn't spend more then five minutes with them and they gave me a joy that lasted for hours as I spent the rest of the day by myself. I have always been afraid of insane loneliness but today I learned that genuine laughter shared with friends can cure just about anything.

Brief side note - the coworkers that made me laugh posess extreme off beat senses of humor and made me laugh so hard I coughed & almost lost my breath. Maybe the lesson I learned is the company of crazy funny people who amuse me to death are good for my soul?