Misconceptions

In college I had a favorite game I would play on my unsuspecting classmates. I would treat them the same & socialize with them every day but I would dress radically different each class. The fun & easy comparisons where when I would dress business casual one class period and then black hoody & baggy jeans for the next class. My classmates who dressed bus-casual, preppy, or well would talk to me when I dressed up. My classmates who dressed casusal, sweats or low fashion, would talk to me when I dressed down. I don't know why I do this but it is such a fun thing to do just to observe how consistently people talk to me or reach out to me.

Growing up I use to believe that it doesn't matter how you dress or look people will treat you with dignity & respect because you are a person. Despite living in Watts for a week at the worst period of the month, despite seeing blatant racism amoung distant relatives & associates, despite being treated differently for wearing a hat & hoody on many occasions, I still believe people will treat me like a person.

I have noticed it varies from person to person. Not everyone is extremely suspicious & prejudiced and not everyone is open & accepting. It is also worth mentioning there are varying mixtures of both in many people.

I am house sitting for some friends and took minimal clothing with me. Most of it are sweats, hoodies, a peacoat and jeans. I rushed out to run some errands tonight at a near by shopping mall wearing a dark hoody & jeans with a black peacoat. Granted it's darker at night but I noticed a lot of people starring or watching me. My favorite was a lady in a minimvan who looked like she could be a mom. She had this concerned/questionable/frieghtful look on her face that seemed to say she would keep her children far away from me.

The security guards were relaxed around me but they are pros at people watching. They notice everything: body language, clothing, size, how fast one moves, the type of movement one makes, style, age, weight, and a few other factors. Any secruity guard worth his weight in salt can size a person up pretty quickly & guess their intentions fairly accurately. I noticed no one in most stores would approach me or offer assistance except young men who had they bad boy look. I walked into a store with over six employees hanging out and not one of them greeted me or offered to help me until I wandered to the back of the store. The employee who has baggy jeans, oversized clothing, and tatoos gives me decent customer service.

Before I can lauch in on a tirade about prejudice, or people being shallow & not open, or overly judgemental I should give the benefit of doubt to some people. As a speech communication major we studied how people relate to others and I'm sure psychology & sociology majors have similar & more in depth theories. One of the theories was people are attracted to others like them or those who validate their existence. If I look like a business executive I may interact with a wide variety of people but I will feel most comfortable and attracted to other people who apprear as I am. The same applies to everyone, mothers are attracted to mothers, republicans to republicans, movie buffs to movie buffs, sports fans to sports fans, and so on.

While I'm out playing my dressing up/down games and watching people I always wonder how much of what I observe is some form of the theory of similar attraction and just how much is prejudice & judgemental attitudes. The sad part is in the fleeting moments I observe others I will most likely never know their intent, just their actions.